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George Eliot Hospital - NHS Trust
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Bereavement Services Team members at George Eliot Hospital

Grief is a very personal experience. What you experience in your grief is particular and specific to you. There are no rules or a ‘correct’ way to grieve. However, there are some feelings which are commonly experienced in grief. These notes may help you to understand your experience but it is not an exclusive list and you may not feel every one of these emotions.

Grief is complicated and can be a very frightening experience. You may have periods of confusion and/or forgetfulness. Some people feel numb or that they have low energy or limited motivation to complete normal  daily activities. Please be kind to yourself: Maybe reduce the number or size of the tasks which you expect of yourself and allow yourself a little more time to complete jobs.

Some other very common feelings within your grief may be a feeling of anger. These feelings of anger may be expressed in many ways; towards the person who has died for leaving you or at others, such as family members, health care professionals or your own personal beliefs, leaving you with a feeling that you were unable to prevent the person from dying.

Some people feel relief that their loved one is no longer struggling in pain and others have difficulty accepting the loss and so have a sense of denial at the events surrounding the illness and/or death. There are often feelings of guilt for many different things said, done or left undone. Many people report that they feel an intense feeling of injustice and unfairness at their loss.

There is also no particular order to these feelings and you may not experience them all. It is important to know that there is no set time-frame for feelings of grief, nor a time-limit. The old saying that ‘Time heals’ does not always feel as if it applies in grief: It is possible that the swells of     feeling which you experience will remain at the same intensity, even if the frequency of these waves is likely to decrease over time. The deep    feelings of missing your loved one may continue for a very long time. Some people say that they continue to ‘see’ or ‘hear’ the one they have lost for what can feel like a lengthy period and others that they experience vivid dreams. If this happens to you, you may find it distressing but it is quite common. 

Advice and Support

It can sometimes be easier to talk to a stranger about things that you are going through than it is to talk to a person who is close to you. 

If you would like further information or support, our Bereavement Support Serviceis available. If you have questions that you would like to raise about the care of your loved one the Bereavement Support Services team can help to find the answers or arrange for you to meet one of the ME’s, doctors or nurses.  

You can contact them by email or phone: Email: Bereavement@geh.nhs.uk        Phone: 024 76865102  

The Trust offers a Counseling service which provides an opportunity to talk through what matters to you following your bereavement.  The  counseling service is available by appointment Monday – Friday,  8.30am – 4.30pm.   

You may also wish to talk to a hospital chaplain. We have chaplains and volunteers from a variety of religious faiths and denominations. You can contact the Chaplaincy by email or phone:

Email: chaplaincy.centre@geh.nhs.uk

Phone: 024 76865046 (in hours), 024 76351351 (out of hours through switchboard) 

The Chapel is on the ground floor past the x-ray department.  It is a peaceful place and always open.  There is a book for writing prayer        requests and a place to light a candle.  We also have a Book of Remembrance and we can arrange for you to have your loved ones name added by a professional calligrapher.

The Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) is a service run by the hospitals to provide advice and help. You can also contact them if you wish to raise a concern or make a complaint about the care you loved one received.

You can contact PALS as follows:

Email: pals@geh.nhs.uk

Phone: 024 76351351

Patient Advice and Liaison Service, George Eliot Hospital, College Street, Nuneaton, CV11 7DJ